...And there I stood

And There I Stood

There I stood waiting on the corner. I was nervous and excited at the same time . I saw him coming up the street ; cell phone in his hand . I knew I seen me too ; that familiar yet so infrequent smile he had . My phone vibrates in my front left pocket . It was him texting me . “ I’m here J “ it says .

I cannot help but smile . He can be such a knob at times. That’s our friendly term for each other when we say random off topic things . We walk back towards my apartment. “ Hey you want to walk around for a bit ; I’ll get you something to eat . You’re starting to look like a bobble head “ he said to me. I gave him a friendly punch to the shoulder “Shut up man-some bobble heads are highly collectible” I pass on the food but we go for coffee and catch up with what’s been going on in our lives. I didn’t tell him everything. I didn’t want him to turn tail and head back home already .
“Don’t hold back on me Joey ; I read your eyes like Oprah reads books”
Damn ! He had so many Oprah-isms . I swear he taped every episode. He had told me the biggest mistake she had ever made; other than dating Stedman was putting Dr. Phil on his own show.

After we finished our coffees; ha-ha I had three to his one.
“No wonder you don’t eat Joey ; you fill up on caffeine.
I stood up and put my hand on my right hip . “Ain’t no cellulite on me and (snaps fingers) unlike your Oprah I don’t have no personal trainer “
“You are such an idiot Joey “ he said smiling

We left and walked down by the river for a bit watching a small group of people fishing on the opposite side of the river. We walked down the concrete steps to the edge of the river and sat on some boulders. We sat quietly ; hearing people chattering overhead at the small roadside eatery and hearing the casting of the fishing lines .Kerplunk !

“I missed you Joey” out of the blue
“I know you did -now let’s go “ I responded ;quickly getting off the topic

We went back to my apartment to watch Across the Universe and some now forgotten movie. He sat on the futon and I sat on the floor . I rarely sit on the futon. Usually I sit on the floor or throw my fuzzy blue comforter on the floor with a pillow. I made a bowl of popcorn and continued watching the movie.

“Oh My God ! Joey”as my friend grabbed my arm and traced the scars with his finger.
“What happened to your arm ?” I was too happy in this moment on this day to tell him .
“It’s okay ; nothing to worry about “ I said
“Joey, I do worry about you”
So I told him .

Instead of hearing the ever familiar “Don’t be stupid doing that shit” or “you’re crazy man !” he just leaned from his spot on the futon and hugged me ; adding “but you’re ok now ? “

I told him I had not done anything like that in six months or more. I was honest . There were times I had the urge but didn’t act on them. I won’t allow myself to go back there . I showed him why I don’t . I showed him my writing.

“This is my outlet” I said ; showing him the list of writings I have done for the past year or so. I only showed him the titles .
“Can I read some of it Joey ?”
“If you want to sure but I don’t candy coat it” I warned him

There have been people who after reading some of what I had written were upset with me and some who don’t bother talking to me anymore .
After reading for an hour or so he stopped reading and asked if I could print some off for him .
“Buy the book when it comes out “ I joked

He read about my “sitting by the fire” my “Lavender Dreams” , “If I could sing” and asked me “Are these people real you write about or how you wish your life were”

Most of my writing is real . It comes from my emotions ; so it is real.
“Who is it your talking about in Sitting by The Fire Joey ? . He sure made some impression on you “
It doesn’t matter who they are; it only matters that they are.

“Hey you missed half the movie; enough reading “ I said
Sitting once again on the futon he watched the movie .
“Come sit up here Joey “

He propped a pillow on his chest and I lay there with my feet over the edge of the futon ; my right arm clutching the pillow as he gently rubbed my scarred arm . “You know “ I said “ Rubbing them won’t make them go away “ I said jokingly
“I know that Joey” he said hesitating a few seconds and adding “ but is the pain is gone?”
“Most days are ok; the others are at least tolerable; now watch the movie “

I fell asleep only to wake; still with my head on his chest and him still rubbing my arm with his fingers . Ever so gentle ;almost like butterfly wings against your cheek . The movie had ended long ago ; I had slept close to two hours

“ Hey Sorry “ I said sliding up a bit “Why didn’t you wake me ?”
“You looked so peaceful ; Do you know you talk in your sleep?”
“Ummm No -When I am sleeping ; I’m not awake to hear myself “ I said being a smartass “What did I say ?”
“Not important ; but hey it’s like two a.m; may as well go back to sleep.”
“Hold on “ I said as I got up from my spot which was so comfortable for so many different reasons . Closeness to someone I cared about being number one.
I grabbed my fuzzy blue comforter and a few pillows and set them up on the floor.

“Ok but on the floor; you were so cramped up there on the futon “
There we were . Two of us on the middle of the floor ;sleeping . We woke up at close to eleven a.m and not wanting to get off the floor we just lay there until close to one in the afternoon

“ I should get going Joey ; you are alright , right ?” he asked with genuine concern
“I am okay ; there’s not one person who’s alright . Now, give me my hug . “
“You don’t have to ask for what I was going to give you anyway “ he said

Hugs exchanged . “This is how we do it in Italy Joey “ and then he kissed me on both cheeks and added “tres Bien”

“Man ! You have never been to Italy and tres bien is not Italian ; it’s French “ I told him
Haha He head read “If I could sing “ about my Italian friend .

“Next time I pick the movies Joey “ he said ;giving me another hug . I swear his eyes had tears in them as the door closed behind him .

I walked into the bathroom and seen that I too had tears in mine.