We were the last to leave the club on that hot August night . We said goodnight to the bartender and heading out walking. We only drank to the point of cutting loose. We were never the ones to cause arguments . Sometimes when confronted by the more unruly drinkers ;we just laughed at them . We had some close calls ; almost getting our blocks knocked off.
We walked home that night but we stopped at McDonalds for something to chow down on. It was about 2:30 in the morning and they must have washed the front of the restaurant where the cashier area is . I slid around crazy ; doing my Michael Jackson moonwalk impression . People thought I was crazy or something. You stood there just cracking up laughing at me calling me stupid goof . You ordered a Big Mac and large fries; a milkshake and an apple pie. I ordered just small fries. I always wondered where you kept all that food. You were so lean and tall.
I continued to moonwalk and the robot ; as lame as I do them while you waited on the food .
The lady handed you the tray with our food on it and SLAM. My feet slipped a bit too far and slid into you; making you lose balance and drop the tray . It was so funny to me but not the woman behind the cash leaning on the mop still sitting in the mop bucket. “You ARE cleaning that up ! “ she said glaring at me .
“Quick ! 10 second rule -floor is clean . Get your food”
“I am not eating food off the floor joe ; you’re f@#&ing crazy “ my friend said ; but with a smile
There I was sitting cross legged on the floor eating my fries. “Here ; at least eat your Big Mac-it’s wrapped “
The lady behind the counter pushed the bucket from behind the counter towards me . “When you’re done having your little picnic; I’d appreciate you clean up your mess “
“Why Yes Ma’am Forest Ranger Rick “ I replied to her
I did start to mop up the mess but she didn’t let me finish . SHEESH !! Since when is slow dancing with a mop and singing a bad thing . There were barely any customers in there and the ones who were didn’t object .
“Forget it - I will clean it up ! “the woman said “And your friend here is right ; you are a stupid goof “
I just laughed . I seen her smirk-she didn’t want me to see it but I did . I called her on it “I know you want to smile -Come on -free smiles on the menu remember “
She laughed and said “just go wherever you are going PLEASE “
So my friend and I went on our ;well my merry way. We were heading southbound on Hespeler Road towards downtown Cambridge .
“NOW what are you doing ?” my friend asked
“I’m hitchhiking ;thus the thumb out and my pant leg rolled up “ I answered
“YEAH like ANYONE will wanna pick you up “ he responded
“HAHA You picked me up ! “ I said
“ You are a fuc%^&ng idiot Joe “
The joke was on him . A car pulled up to the edge of the road .
“Where you headed boys ? “ the driver asked
“Hespeler “ I replied
The driver hesitated and then said “ Hespelers behind you -you’re headed the wrong way - Your walking the wrong way “
“Sorry but it’s the only way I walk; unless of course you want me to moonwalk too “
“ Are you some kind of retard !!!” the driver asked
“Umm no we are just on our way home “ I answered
He pulled away and drove on . My friend was just holding his face in his hands repeating “OMFG ! OMFG ! OMFG “
“Dude you are losing it “ I said to him “ whats with the swearing “
“OMG Joe you are such an idiot “ he said with a broad smile
We went home . “See ya soon “ I said
“Yeah I cant wait “ he said with I think just a tad of sarcasm
“Hey ; wheres my hug “ I asked - Hugs are a ritual with me
My friend walked back to me “Oh God I know I shouldn’t -who knows what I am in for “
As I hugged I spun him in a slow circle
“Jesus Joe -Don’t you ever NOT dance “
The answer is nope .
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