Out of Nothingness

Out of Nothingness

Late last night I went on a bike ride. It was close to midnight and having to get out of the four little walls that surround me ; I grabbed my coat and locked the door behind me. Off I went .

Downtown was very quiet as I headed south on Ainslie Street . I came to thinking the downtown street lights really need to have higher watt bulbs or better ones. No wonder people don’t like walking through town. The alley way behind where I used to work had a few patrons from the bar having that cigarettes or whatever it is people do in an alley at midnight.

I headed down to Concession Street and cut over to Water and I was on my way . Once I passed the GTO gas bar ; it was dark . Other than the car headlights coming toward me there was very little light. I pulled off the side of the road and entered the trail . It was even darker here and I wondered if it was a good idea. I wasn’t changing my mind now so I ventured on . Once in awhile I could hear a car pass by the highway or a rustling in the brush on either side of me . It was deadly quiet . I wondered if that is what “peaceful” sounded like . Then I wondered if it were really quiet like that all the time ; how much I would think. I like lots of noise around me usually as it helps me to stop thinking . Tonight I actually liked it .

I looked from side to side on the trail ;complete nothingness . It was almost like being asleep yet not having a dream . I continued on and came to a point on the trail where there were no trees overtop ;where a small spattering of stars shone done . There are some wooden benches along the trail that doctors and businesses had donated ; so I stopped for a bit and sat . I had biked about 8 km but I was only half way where I wanted to go so I didn’t sit long .

I biked on and on eventually getting to my 16 km point. I left my bike at the bottom of the wooden steps and felt my way up the hand railing to the overlook . It looked so different after midnight ; moreso than I had imagined . It was still dark here but the sky overhead was clear and across the river I could see lights on in a farm house. There are two benches on the landing . I sat on the back of one and had my legs between the black metal rails and just looked across the river ;down at the river and every direction I could see.

I walked over to one of the corner support rails; pulled out my lighter and looked down . It was still there. I remember maybe four or five years ago when we carved our initials into it . We had been goofing around like we did and two older people ;a man and a woman in them god-awful spandex biking shorts walked up the steps to the overlook . There jaws dropped . We had biked so far that day and we had to pee. So when nature calls; you pee. We stood against the railing with our parts peeing onto the rocks below; trying to spell our names. The older people had seen my friends (you know) because he was turned sideways as they walked up the steps . “hey joe -you got it easy -you only have 3 letters to spell “ he shouted . The poor woman was taken aback and back down the steps she went.

Our initials were still there ;although a bit weathered by the rain and sun beating down but they were there . I just stared at the initials for a bit ;took out my pocket knife and scratched them out. As much as I thought the memories were there; in that spot ;they weren’t . Those memories came flooding back the minute I dropped my bike and seen the overlook .

So I headed home through darkness and silence. A sort of nothingness ; yet I had experienced so much . The carved names are gone ; my friend is no longer physically here ; yet he is . That’s what can be so good about some memories at times .