Colour My World or an adventure in painting

As I am sitting here in this chair typing away.. My hair is greyer than usual.
I am finishing painting my kitchen so it’s more fitting of my personality.
The walls are nicely painted and I was finishing up the trim around the edge of the ceiling.

I have kitchen cupboards that have a span of about six inches before the ceiling.

I pulled up my step stool to reach the areas above the cupboards.

Step stool won’t allow me to reach quite high enough so I stretch.
Bad idea: number one.
As I reached my hand; paint roller in hand, my step stool slides back; one leg on it and the other on the counter top. I looked liked like I was trying out for the National Ballet of Canada. I was spread legged to the point of getting a charlie horse in my calves.
Boom! Flat on my back; head resting in the paint tray. My neighbour screams through the wall

“What the f#$% are you doing over there! I’m trying to watch tv !! ” I have a charlie horse , the back of my head is covered in paint so I yell back ” I’m trying to f#$% paint and its not f#$%^% working either… so I guess we are both having a great day ! ”

I take a coffee break; eyeing up my options on how to maneuver in such a small area. I could take the kitchen cupboards off the wall and get easier access
No! I am guy and being such; I can’t do anything easy.

I will use a chair I have… that reaches higher than my step stool.
I fill my roller with paint, step onto the chair and I can reach if I bend my head to the side.
GET R DONE ! I think.
I rest my arm on the top of the cupboard which is covered in grease and who knows what else . I figure I will go back when the paint is dried and scrub off the tops of the cupboards.

I go to get down and discover my right forearm is stuck to the greasy coating on the cupboard top. Now I know what it\’s like for a fly stuck on flypaper. Rather than flap my wings furiously and BUZZ BUZZ ..

I said my usual ” Aww sh**s sakes ! ” It stung my arm to move it . The phone rings . Forget it ! I ease my arm from the sticky goo only to realize I gave myself a partial body waxing. My arm was smooth as a babies behind. Ripped the hair right out of me.

Almost done painting . I move to the last corner of the room to paint above the cupboards. Paint can in hand and standing on the chair I paint the last spot .

Success ! or so I think . My right leg goes through the chair .
I thought wicker was strong . Paint can hits the floor, spilling all over.

Next time I decide to paint and it comes time to paint above the cupboards; I think I will pass. I will just cover the entire area with nic-nacs.

Or maybe I will get Debbie Travis to paint while Martha Stewart holds the paint can AND I go to lunch with the Designer Guys! Martha is famous for saying “LIFE IS GOOD! ” but she doesn’t live in my damned apartment with my kitchen cupboards .

Ok time to shower up- shave my other arm and have a hot coffee but not in the damned kitchen.