Mid Dream.

We lead each other onward -his fingernail snagging my waistline of my jeans as he gently kissed my right shoulder .my arms were wrapped tightly around both his shoulders . We were both barefeet and walking into the woods. It felt so real and it finally felt so right, He lifted his eyes lovingly-and smiled. I put my head down and cried . This was what I was waiting for for so long- it felt so right but yet so unreal. We were full of passion yet we had waited so long-both fighting it , I for fear of being shot down ; him for his fear of that it wasn’t who he was to be with; not of his own thoughts but of others expectations of him . We continued holding each other ;crying yet trying to console each other . We both shook like the autumn leaves dangling from the maple trees. The sun was setting behind us . Normally we would both find it beautiful; but we barely looked at it as it continued to set . We were busy staring into each others; wiping each others seemingly endless tears away . If there was music playing we would both be dancing ; even after the music stopped. We are so different yet so much the same as odd as it seems. He knew me better than most. Love was an emotion we both couldn’t control and shouldn’t have to control yet we both knew that it wouldn’t turn out the way we dreamed. Dreams ! We had shared so many or told each other our own. We sometimes laughed about how others would question our dreams or would try helping each other on how to make at least some of them come true. Standing in the woods ;barefoot ankle deep in fallen leaves and damp grass I can’t help but remember how we met ; but here ; in this moment it didn’t matter. It could have been any non-descript place. I have never been a big believer in love at first sight but did and still do believe in instant connections. The leaves began to rustle with the breeze picking up and it started to rain. The fresh cool rain of the night sky mixed with our tears but we were steadfast. I heard the three words I had longed to hear . I Love You. Three words that can pack a punch and at times leave you reeling in wonder and awe. As much as I wanted to hear them I dreaded seeing his lips move as he looked lost into my eyes . Love heals but sometimes it appears that Love hurts. I hesitated to return the words although I knew I really felt love for him. There was so much between us in our favour yet so much external pressures going against us. It was like we were in Love Limbo. It started to rain heavier ; thunder rolled across the skies; high above the seemingly ever darkening clouds . A flash of lightening filled the sky and when the glare of the lightening dimmed; he was gone. I stood there alone and eyed my surroundings but he was gone. I love You too ; more than you can know and more than I can show . He never heard me answer.

Even after having this dream I can't seem to shake the feelings that were involved in it . I don't know who the person was yet it felt more real than some parts of real life. I can be lying on my living room floor curled up on my faux fur rug with my head resting on a pillow - a pillow that lingers of the smell of that person. Sometimes when i am wrapped up in what I am watching I can feel feathery movements on my back ; starting from the base of my neck going down my spine. I know in reality that no one is there but i sense someone . There are times that I feel like someone is cuddled up close to me and spooning me or running their long slender fingers through my hair and rubbing my temple every so gently. Sometimes I fall asleep when i feel this but wake up and still sense that the person is there. It kind of appeases me yet makes me wonder. I used to daydream but this seems so much different and more real . Sometimes after falling asleep for a brief time I can see the face but it fades into memory that quick. When I do fall asleep for the night and wake in the morning I am hugging my pillow and its almost like it still has the familiar smell of the person on it . Sometimes I cant help to smile while other times I cry .