We all deal with our times of feeling down in a different way . I like to write what\’s on my mind; keeping reference of sorts. A few of these poems were written during a low point. Some were when I kicked and screamed and cried my way back out of what I thought was a never ending abyss. I had someone send me this after someone told me that writing is a selfish indulgence.
“The Chinese people (I think) have a believe that whenever you produce a piece of art, whether it be a poem, a painting, a song or a piece of writing you leave a piece of your soul behind in it. How could that be selfish? You give other people a part of yourself . I think it is an amazing gift. Another interesting saying that a teacher mine said when I was still at school ; that the moment one produces a piece of art, it is not yours anymore, i.e. what you intended to say by it, will not be always recognised. Each and every person will make it theirs and see themselves in facets thereof. Once again… How unselfish to give people a mirror of your life that they can see themselves in…”
So i continue to write.
Into Your Eyes
When I look into your eyes; we’re very much the same
Although we differ in ages-we have shared similar pain
There is no age where sadness starts to dwell
When outside we are quiet-inside we both do yell
We yell for acceptance in all the things we do
If you don’t judge me- I won’t judge you
I know we sit home at night alone
No ones around- a quiet telephone
They judge me and they judge you
No matter what we choose to do
It seems that no matter what we try
We seem to stay idle as the world passes by
One day when we are famous –they will give us a second glance
When we were “just” us –we never had a chance
When I look into your eyes ; we’re very much the same
LIFE is Worthing living-don’t treat it like a game
We may not alter the path of history
But the two of us are what we’re meant to be
Today I walked with no destination in mind. I do this a lot. I just grab my mp3 player full of songs and go. It kind of blocks out the external noise and helps to calm the seemingly neverending thoughts in my head. I took a walk down by the Grand River and sat on a bench and soaked up the sun. Then I walked to an old stone cottage which is now a horticultural centre. I walked the pavestone walkway and caught glimpse of some newly sprouting flowers. I had to stop and take pictures ;and think. If this little flower can survive underground all winter while feet of snow sit on top and survive that harsh surroundings ;then I should be able to get past my own turmoils.
My harsh surroundings are not mounds of snow ; rather they are people who have doubt in me or try to squash any or all hopes or dreams I have . I confess to be living with Peter Pan syndrome at times; wanting to have fun ;but never at my own expense or others . I have a heart that helps but also that hurts . I am a giver rather than a taker. People seemingly welcome my advice and say “Thank You” when it helps but it is always difficult to take my own. I have never put myself before others and that will never change . I listen to a song called “ I wanna grow old with you “ by Westlife which is how I wish my life were. Two weeks ago my career ended; today I came back to my apartment ;only to find out that my building is up for sale and I will need to look for a new place to live. Memories are in the mind but I find it difficult to come to the realization that my job is gone and my apartment; both places where those memories were made are soon to be gone.
That little flower nudging through the soil gave me hope . When I doubt my life will get any better ; I will look at that little flower and think of what it went through to come into this world.
I usually write my thoughts down rather than confide in anyone and that is because I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I just want to be me ;allowed to have my down times and be the “ dancing ball of energy” or “goofball Joee” but I want and need people to be there for me; like I am for them . That should be how friendship works
If you have a dream; that’s in your heart
You must follow it through ;right from the start
Don’t let anyone get in your way
For your dream can be reality ; maybe not today.
Don’t let anyone talk you out of it causing you sorrow
Your dream may come true; if not today , maybe tomorrow
If not for our aspirations and dreams and hoping they come true
Stick to what you love ; it’s meant for you to do
There may be bumps in the road that lie ahead
But you must keep going
For if you give up -
The dream ; like a river, may just stop flowing
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