without a title

I just spent the weekend in Listowel at my sister and brother in laws place . Although it was nice to get away from the city ; I didn't get away from me . Can we ever possibly do that ? I had fun with them and their three rambunctious dogs . I slept in a camper trailer with one of the bassetts who was great company. She stayed with me the entire two nights ; rubbing her nose into my chest . Even when i had my nightly crying fits ;she was steadfast . Maybe dogs are more loyal than people.

I ws writing by candleight and the dog was getting impatient ;whimpering but he stayed at my side .

"Last night I dreamt again about my lavender. As i was falling asleep on the bunk of the trailer at my sisters. I was sleeping with Gracie; one of their Basett hounds . All weekend long seh wasnt far from my side-she seemed to love me unconditionally. I drifted in and out of sleep-like always-I was in a field of lavender and far on the horizon was someone standing ;beckoning me with both hands . I walked onward but looking back it seemed like I had not made any distance. The further I walked ; the scent of the lavender grew stronger. I don`t know if it was from me ttrampling down the plants. I dropped to the ground; knees pressed into my chest and hands cupped over my head. I cried. No matter how much I wanted to venture on I couldn`t; it was like I was glued to the spot.

`When i stop thinking- I stop dreaming-when I stop dreaming I stop believing`
`last night I danced for hours-my feet not touching the floor.My eyes were lost in yours; although your`s werent lost in mine. I have to let go-let my feet hit the ground`
We all want to laugh --give love and be loved.thats not greed-that is neccessity `

Writing these notes ;at times has been freeing but yet sometimes painful to write and read them back . I know the latter notes are not as `light and fluffy`as previous ones were and I profusely apologize if they brought you down. However; I will not apologize for writing them nor will I apologize for being me .I love you ; unconditionally .