YOU inspire ME

This morning was much like any other morning that I wake up . I had the bed sheet wrapped around my midsection and was laying on my left side ; right arm wrapped around a pillow tightly. I think I have almost always hugged tight onto a pillow on going to bed . In some way; odd to some of you ; it gives me some comfort. I reached onto my bedside table and reached for my pen and notebook . It is a ritual for me every morning. I just write what I remember from my dreams or what I feel or sense on waking up. It's not often that I remember what I have dreamt the night before but what I do recall; I write down . I don't write it down only with the intention of later posting it here or elsewhere ; I write it because my mind is a seemingly endless activity zone. I know some of you know what I have gone through in the past ; some moreso than others but I am getting through it day by day . It's kind of seeing the rays of the sun streaming downwards from the sky ; hidden behind the clouds. You may not see the sun at the moment but you know it's there and will show itself soon. I may not be "complete" but with each day I am feeling better. Its a moment by moment ; day by day process. That's where this leads to you. I get inspired by reading your instant messages or private messages you send me . I owe so much to so many of you. I have a sweet lady friend from Europe who seems to see into my being and is so encouraging- moreso than some people I have really met face to face. She has enlightened me so much and in doing so has lightened my load. I have family members on here who were ;and at times continue to worry so much about me ,asking me "Are you eating ? " and the answer is yes . I know if I asked for a bit of their time they would offer me the world if they could. I have people on here who are friends I know in real life and know how I feel about them who will text me or call me just to say hi at any hour of the day or night.

When I wrote some of my poetry; some described as dark or forboding and wondered why would I write it and why in God's name would I want people to read it when I talked in a roundabout way of self harm . I wrote them and continue to have them posted so I and perhaps others going through what life can sling at you ; can read them and what I have written lately and see that Life can and does get better. It is sort of a chronlogical timeline in my life -ups , middle of the road and downs.

YOU inspired ME to fight my way back and I think I am heading in the right direction ; with you leading me around the curves or bumps in the road.

When I got out of bed this morning after unraveling the seemingly endless bedsheets from around my midsection and releasing my pillow from my grip ; I put on my shorts and turned on my coffee maker.

I went down to the lobby ; opened my mail box and picked up the mail and carried it back up to my apartment. I had the usual junk mail and a small yellow bubble pack envelope . I opened the envelope and out dropped a black plastic case and a small hand written note. I opened the case and inside was a mechanical pencil and pen set . The box was marked Waterman@ . I was taken aback as I knew Waterman@ is in the upper echalon of writing implements. I am not big into price points but I knew it wasn't a 29 cent BIC pen ;which my hand , by now was so used to gripping. There was no return address , just postmarked Hamilton .I looed at the small note that fell out;. On it were just two words .INSPIRE OTHERS . I have no inkling of who would have sent me that but Thank You so much.


YOU inspire ME