Tolerance versus Acceptance

This was originally posted as two seperate notes. I have amended and compiled it into one note .

I do not watch television news on a regular basis ; rather I check out news sites online because that is where I usually am ; either blogging on a site or talking with people I know. This morning when I was talking to an online friend who had told me something and my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. Somewhere in the midwest states a young man ended his own life ; not because people didn't tolerate him ;rather because he was not accepted for who he was and was meant to be. He was never big into sports ;never picked up a football or hockey stick in his life ;never got oil on his hands from working on a car and that is where the judgement calls started. He "came out " a few years ago ; first to his parents; who , of all people should be the most accepting and loving people in his life. Rather than this-when his parents went to social gatherings, he was not invited ;as not to embarass his parents. He then let a few of his closest friends know. Some of his closest friends were not that close at all. They turned tail and ran; joining others in their taunts. He did have a few close friends he could confide in but he wanted the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF HIS PARENTS THE MOST. Last spring he was accepted into a university that has very high requirements to be admitted. He was to start next semester. Friday May 29th he ended his life because his own parents and others judged him not to be a "real man " . This man ;great man did more than many others in his 19 years of life without looking for recognition for doing so. He just wanted to be recognized as a man who loved with his heart-100%. After talking to my online friend about this-much moreso in depth than I will talk about here; he apologized for not calling me to wish me a Happy Birthday saying " I am sorry but my brothers funeral was yesterday" That young man was my friends brother who I also had the real honour and privelege of talking to . We ; although different in age ;shared so much. . He shared his stories with me and I with him; although different stories. He would email me every morning just to say “Good Morning distant friend-thank you and I love you “ It will be difficult to go into my email and not see a greeting like that from him. It will be more difficult for his brother who was his real ally . It is a real loss that others won’t know of him and his big heart. To other parents out there and everyone else. Judge people on the Who they are rather than the What they are. Love is love . Accept it without question..I know my friend can still hear this “ Good morning “C” Thanks for being you- I love you without question” The following link is from a local site and written for parents but I hope you read it and if you know someone who is questioning themselves or gay or bi or whatever label is attached Please check it out. A "real" man or "real" woman doesn't have all the answers . No one does but we have to accept that in everyone. Accept without conditions.

After posting this I received some very sweet comments both on here and on other sites where I post some of my writing. Some of it will never come to see the light of day . After reading through what I wrote I realized that I had forgotten to put some points in and others asked me who the person was. It serves no point in giving a name as on any given day of any month of any year; there are others who take their lives at their own hands. They don’t make the news because other more horrific stories always seem to grab front page headlines . Rather teenage suicides are treated no less than a statistic; “troubled youth”. I was surprised that I did not get any responses from the “religious right” about my friends lifestyle being a sin or abomination. . I get so sick of hearing about the sins of homosexuality but nothing about adultery or watching our nations starve our next generations so we can have the newest and biggest whatever. To be honest I have never read the entire bible but in all fairness; it is not right to pick and choose from it what we choose to believe or not. My friend went to church every Sunday; believing and knowing that his Maker was of goodness,lov and acceptance; while others in his church leered or moved seats just to be away from him. His own parents sat at the back of the church while he sat closer to the front. His parents said it was “cooler at the rear of the church” but my friend hearing negative and hurtful comments day after day ; night after night knew different. “No son of mine is a fag !”

I only know this now ; because this morning I got a letter in the mail from him. Much more was written but ; point taken was this “If my own parents don’t care about me-who does ? “ I did and I still do . The local paper where he lived said “died suddenly at home “ It was not a sudden death. Years of being made to feel like an outcast and made to feel ashamed of who he was took its toll. Love is Love ! June 6th is TRI-PRIDE DAY at Victoria Park in Kitchener from 12 to 7 pm. My friend; although no longer here; but still “here” was not from this area but in hopes of supporting him and others , I ask you to attend, I will be there for my friend .
http://www.ok2bme.ca/parents