In therapy

"the things you want to change-change them"
"people; you cannot change. Choose to be around only of those who are a positive influence"
Fairweather is a clothing chain-NOT a friend

I was asked to write down brief statements less than 10 words over the past 3 weeks or so . They varied ; much like myself:

Burning ember is my soul-
Stars in the night sky; shine so bright-
The one for me; that can never be-

The next one was questioned by my therapist . I wrote , Tears of dread fill my head-never to be free-There is no us-will never be-Only you and merely me and then another that read " I sleep with angels in the night-I awake with my demons not far from my sight "
. The therapist asked me why I didn't stick to the ten word limit. I told him that its not fair to set limits on me expressing how I felt at the time. Then asked if I often did writing . Of course I said Yeah and thats my release . He asked if I wanted to write more and accepted a note pad and paper and started writing. Within five minutes I had written the following :
" I don't want to exist-I want to be- free from my sorrows-clouds gone-sun forever shining on my soul-I can no longer help others- I can't even help me-They kicked me to the curb and stole my dignity-I stand naked yet clothed-Whats become of me ? " Then I continued to write " This is my sunset-I shone so bright-my energy is gone- I feel like i am fading-ready to burn out- I love and have been loved -I won a few and lost so many-I've even loved a few and never let them know it-I missed my chance and never got to show it " and finally wrote this Seeds of doubt cloud my mind-dark thoughts strung up like silken cobwebs-lurk in waiting- snatch any glimmering sliver of colour from my rainbow of being .
Session was over . The therapist found my words to be deep and profound. "Just like me " I said " Thats why people sometimes dont understand me or really know me " He asked me if I ever shared my writing with people and I said that sometimes I do . He said my writing is not only profound but has a message and he was glad I am sharing it. "yeah well before the sun shines _______ in the morning we have to get past the dark and sometimes gloomy evening right " I know I will get back into the suns rays -I just have to weather the storm the best I can until I can get there . Thank You and I love you . This is my best therapy -letting it out